The Road I've Taken

It's been 5 months since I transferred here in Manila, but it seems I have been here for years! Living here is not a joke, it could really test your patience, endurance and even your tolerance for surprises because in this place, you never know what's around the bend.

I was quite contented with my easy life in Cebu with my friends and great officemates but thenI figured I have to grow up and I am still young to get stuck in one place. I got time on my hands andthis world has so much to offer. I don't want to run out of years and see myself one day, grey and old, sitting on a porch thinking what could have been or what I could have seen on the other side of the fence.

Indeed I felt I have grown up, with a fast paced life you have no choice but to keep up. I get to think about how to invest my money, save up for rainy days and a good retirement. Commuting to the office and back home is not an easy ordeal here, unlike in Cebu where my apartment is just a stone away from the office. So it is just but right to plan my earnings and let it not go to waste since I earned it the hard way. That's one reason why I also learned to work hard and play hard here. Nope I don't go out on bars and get wasted to unwind, instead, my friends and I go for long weekends in different places. Together we explore and go back to our work with recharged body and minds.

There have been a lot of twist and turns of events in my life before I came here. The decision wasn't at all a breeze. I didn't just pack my bags and go. I sacrificed my easy life and my heart just to explore this unknown side, this reality that used to just exist in my imagination. I paid a hefty price for this and until now I am still paying for it. I still cry, I still feel lonely and I still have doubts... I am still struggling in the middle of this battle. Sometimes I feel like giving up and to back to where I started or just simply release all hopes and dreams.

What hurts me most is the thought that my labskie, the man who used to be my strength and protector has already given up on me and my craziness. He even refuses to walk with me in this journey or to even talk to me when I am down and tired of fighting even if that's the only thing I could ask from him. So I have no choice but to face this battle alone.

It is really sad and I often think why things have to be so hard for me. But this is the path that I have taken and I will walk on this, I'm really not sure how many more steps I could take. But one thing is definite... that I will not be that old woman on the porch, who was too scared to experience what is beyond the horizon. I may emerge worn-out and defeated but I have no regrets.