Butterfly Kisses

While listening to Butterfly Kisses (Claire's first choice for her bridal march) during lunchbreak, I remember last Saturday when my papa called me up to check on how I was doing, in the middle of our conversation he suddenly asked me, "Sino daw yung sabi ng mama mo na nanliligaw sa iyo ngayon beng?". I didn't have any plan of answering his question for I knew it would mean a talk that will never end. So I just changed the topic by asking him what he wanted to have on his birthday and he gave me a funny answer, "Kahit wala na lang gift, basta wag ka lang mag asawa ha."

My father can be really amusing, I think he has forgotten that his little girl is now 25 years old. Well, Papa is a known playboy back in his younger years and so I understand where his ire for boys, as far as I am concerned, is coming from. (But it could get in my nerves sometimes)

I grew up like Rapunzel locked up in a tower, except that my long curly hair couldn't help me from his watchful eyes. I remember when I was in grade 2, my classmates Victor and Alfred who live in the village invited me go to Kristine's house to play, I told them to wait outside for a while coz I had to ask permission first. When papa found out that I was going out with boys, he forbid me to even go out of the door, so I begged with my futile cry until I fell asleep crying..I didn't know how long Victor and Alfred waited outside our gate that afternoon for they never talked to me after that.

I wasn't spared until highschool, when my kuya's friends(our school heartthrobs) would hangout in the house, I was not allowed to entertain them and I was required to go to my room and hide(kainis!). So just imagine his shock when he accidentally saw me in the mall with 18 guys in tow.(They were just Chinese school basketball varsity teammates of my barkada's boyfriend ok). I bet you already have a picture what happened to me when I got home.

He may be stricter than a regular dad, but it's not all bad memories. There are more times in my life when he made me feel like I am a precious gem in his life. During summer afternoons in our farm in Malalag, he would take me to one part of the road to watch the sun set behind the mountains where buses for General Santos pass. I could no longer remember what the sunset looks like, but I could still feel how happy I was while sitting on his lap listening to his 'bus' stories. Since I didn't have a playmate, he asked Manong Marshal (our family carpenter) to make me a beautiful pink bahay-bahay made of bamboo( which he himself cut from the farm), in our backyard. It was so pretty that it looked like a real house complete with little stairs and dining tables. He didn't sleep the night before my debut because he was busy baking and decorating my very beautiful and yummy pink and white, 3-layered cake complete with little satellite cakes for my ninongs and ninangs.

During one of those painful nights, when I was going through my first heartbreak (courtesy of my jerk ex boyfriend in college), he jokingly asked me "Sinong kaaway sweetheart ko?" like I was a little girl crying over her broken toy. Then he whispered to me, "Sabi ko na nga ba sasaktan ka lang ng mga lalaking yan.", while he hugged me so tightly, it felt like everything will be alright. Until now it melts my heart everytime I remember that night.

Maybe that's the reason why my love for a person could easily wane if he fall short of my expectations. For I haven't found someone yet, who could come close to how my father made me feel extra special. Well, maybe someday when I will finally find that someone, with Butterfly Kisses playing, my father will walk with me down the aisle and hopefully be willing to let go of his little girl.

"With all that I've done wrong I must have done something right to deserve my papa's love every morning..."