How To Deal With Pain?
My college friend sent me a text message "ang sakeet! iniwan nya ako!! wat i do now?" and then followed by "paano mo ba yun nakaya noon? kagabi pa ako iyak ng iyak d2 ndi ko ata ito kaya" with angst that i'm pretty sure all of us are familiar with. PAIN -- It's a common feeling when we feel betrayed. Common cause? LOVE -- because when we love, we give our full 100% trust to a person as we deliberately blind ourselves from the reality that pain is part and parcel of loving. When it finally hit us, we cry, blame, curse, we ask for sympathy, for help and everything.
Loving is easy, you just become a leaf on a river, floating willingly and beautifully wherever the current takes it.
But what about hurting? how do we deal with it?
First, let the pain fill you. Don't avoid it, feel it. Lock yourself in a room and cry. Cry for as long as there are tears left, even if there's not even a drop left and you still feel crying, just cry. Don't be ashamed to cry, don't bottle up your emotions, people who cry are actually strong. If there's one song that reminds you of that person, listen to it, again and again. Read his letters, look at the sweet stuffs he gave you and stare at your happy pictures. Until you become numb of everything that reminds you of him.
And when you've done this, go out and see the world. Don't let this pain stop you from seeing the other beautiful things this life has to offer. Let the pain hurt you but don't let it get you down. Have fun but don't do anything that can destroy you. Don't even think about revenge, for overcoming this emotional distress as a stronger and better person is the sweetest victory there is. For when you meet again, don't give him the satisfaction that he's so good in making a mess out of your life by leaving you. Take in mind that he left you because he doesn't deserve you. Yes you can forgive, but you can never forget.
Pick up the pieces one by one and mend it alone. Don't let anyone fix it, for the heart is most vulnerable when it had just been broken. Believe me, when you are able to go through this pain alone, no one can hurt you that much again.
When you are finally healed, don't be afraid to welcome love again when it knocks.
Let it mesmerize you once again, but this time listen to your instinct when it tells you to stop and think.
For love is an illusion but pain is real.
1 Comments:
it's easy to say isnt it, when youre not in the position? i remember being left, the pain, the sadness, and dealing with it, the same way that you described it. after it's done and over, you become your old self again, single but whole. what i cant say i agree with is when you say it will not hurt as much the next time :) minsan it hurts a lot lot more, and experiencing it before does not prepare you much for a next heartbreak except that you know already how painful and how long your recovery may be. and that youd admit that you may very well go through the whole thing again and again because she's worth it.
what you said as a whole though is very true. thanks for this reminder.
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