My Fate

"hi ria.
if i was there, ill surely be one of the persons who will come to you and tell you that life had been colorful everytime you were around when i was still in the office. when you left for AOTS, the whole cube was more stressful than it was without your charms and witty antics. Probably one reason i was not able to handle my indifference and frustrations with the project. you might know this by now, but you have what it takes to make people around you feel better and enthusiastic. it's a gift. and I hope you continue to be the same as you are. continue giving people a smile or two, and laughter that seems to be contagious as the day goes along.
i hope you can find the person who will make your life happier and complete. just like how you seem to touch people's lives."

I received this note from my very good friend Arvin who now works in Manila.It is his reply to my journal entry in multiply. I just thought I'd write my reply here in my blog, since it's medyo personal and Multiply has this weird feature of sending your journal entry to everyone. I can see how Arvin tried to sound less syrupy but it still touched my heart anyhow. I never knew that my being my kikay could have an effect on someone or some people. When I just do it for a mere reason of wanting to add spice to the somewhat boring place of machines and codes, where i think i am misplaced. You know naman, i'm a star in a square... a feeling star amongst the square-looking people. hahaha

Funny how life can be so full of ironies. Arvin used to be one of the people in NSP whom I REALLY, REALLY hated. (That's why you thought I was suplada, kasi really tinatarayan na kita nun! hahaha) I find him so maingay and mayabang with his manila boy thang but fate could really be playful. We were brought to the same project twice! And were placed in the same cube with only two servers occupying the two vacant desks. At first I had no choice but to talk to him, since i'm obviously madaldal and I can't expect a decent conversation with the two machines. As the days passed, with each "anything under the sun" talk we had, I began to appreciate the friendship I had with this guy. He turned out to be a very thoughtful and caring friend, definitely one of the few friends that I will treasure. Even if the two boring servers were replaced by two childlike and corny engineers, Ben and Katrina, I still never got tired of talking with Arvin about my lovelife,future plans and even health issues (since Ben and Katrina are often engrossed with their anime stuff). He also has his way of making his stories about his wife and children interesting even if I still can't relate to it. You may not know it 'Vin, but I really appreciate those emails we have although seldom it may be, they make me feel lighter and better. (Nag eemail lang ata ako sa iyo kung may problema ako noh?hehehe)

This is not my first brush with the irony though. I'm even beginning to think that maybe my destiny is Irony.With every step I take on this so called road of life, I constantly bump with contradiction, it even comes in different forms...

Funny how when he swept my heart while playing the piano at Cebu Plaza during our inauguration party, I thought he is the one i'll be playing sweet music with. With a common passion such as the piano, i just can't seem to figure out why we couldn't hit the notes right.

Funny how when I thought everything's a mess and hopeless, that suddenly someone will come along and make you feel that life is still worth fighting for. Just when you thought you have someone to face the battle with, that you realize you're actually on your own.

Funny how my friends draw energy from me, when little do they know I am the one taking strength from them. Their every laugh to my craziness, are actually noises that accompanies my loneliness.

Funny how a girl with simple joys, can be difficult to find someone who can make her happy.

Funny how a girl who trusts so easily is the one who is fooled just like that.

The list goes on... but I welcome every irony fate gives me, I just hope that one day, fate will be kind enough to take me to that someone who will finally make everything real.